


Babyboy

by stillbangtan



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Coming Out, Fluff, Healthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-10-29 16:34:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17811539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stillbangtan/pseuds/stillbangtan
Summary: You've always known you're a guy despite what your physical makeup said. You have to tell your boyfriendsometime.





	Babyboy

It would be too cliché to start a story off saying that dating Kihyun had its ups and downs. Cliche and a lie. Dating Kihyun was all up, no down. He nagged a lot in the day but as serious as he tried to be, you couldn't help but adore it. You did as he asked without complaint. Kihyun wasn't unreasonable; he just had a certain standard for cleanliness around the apartment. On days that work sent him home to you a stressed disaster, you sat behind him, rubbing his shoulders or just wrapped around him like a koala. No matter the days events, by nightfall the pair of you were cuddled on the couch with a movie, a book, or just each other for entertainment. On particularly tiring days, nightfall signalled bedtime and you would sleep together until he inevitably pushed you away around 2 then made the journey over cold sheets two hours later for your warmth again. The core aspects of your days were predictable but by no means boring.

Kihyun might just like the sound of his own voice, but he was always teaching you things. Mostly meals since you weren't much of a cook. Sometimes he would "drag" you to the park, a packed picnic in hand, and tell you a history of the trees or various birds around you. You weren't sure how much of the information he learned just beforehand but as with every other part of him you adored it. The relationship you had with him was rare. You'd never fought. You'd bickered plenty but there was never a moment where you'd felt the need to be away from him. There was never a moment he made you cry bad tears. Even during the times he'd raised his voice, it didn't upset you. It was just the type of person he was. He was passionate and hot-tempered, both traits you'd seen him use with his friends as well.

There was just one big issue between you. The worst part of it was he didn't know about it. You had a secret. Two, really. You'd never had a surgery but you'd been dreaming of one for years, since you found out this one was possible. To Kihyun, you were a girl. You'd given your birth name during your first meeting out of habit. Down to your bones, though, you were a guy. Every fiber of your being had screamed it at you for as long as you could remember. The gender you always had to assign yourself on paperwork felt like bullshit. You still introduced yourself as a girl to strangers because it was easier to lie to yourself than to watch the confusion on their faces and face the facts - even your parents refused you as a son. You were still their daughter.

That was your first secret. The second was saying that you're asexual. That was the easiest excuse you could think of on the spot the first time things grew heated between you and your boyfriend. He'd paused a minute, hand faltering from the fabric of your pants, before scolding you for letting him take it as far as he had, never wanting to make you uncomfortable. He'd then forced your shirt back over your head so you could relax your arms from covering yourself and shoved his hand between your bodies to wrap his fingers with yours, kissing you firmly on the temple afterwards. You'd definitely known before that night, but if you hadn't then that would have been the moment you knew Kihyun was all you ever wanted for the rest of your life.

You hoped that he harbored that same unconditional love for you.

You were planning on telling him soon. It wasn't an easy subject to broach, though. You really didn't mean to confess the way you did.

"You have to cut them smaller," Kihyun commented from behind you. Today was one of those food enlightenment days. Kihyun stood behind you, hovering really, as he explained how to prepare the dish and how each ingredient complimented the others. "You don't need half the plant hanging from your mouth when you take a bite." It was an over-exaggeration, but point taken. So cut them smaller you did and pleased Kihyun was. Until just awhile later, when he decided the angling you cut another vegetable at was unsatisfactory. "No, like this, baby." He wrapped his arms around you then, one hand ghosting over your knife-weilding one, the other resting on your waist. You knew it wasn't sexual, but god damn playing asexual was hard. But you couldn't think of a way to make it work unless he knew the first secret. Needless to say, it was miserable the way a simple touch from him felt to your nerves yet unable to do anything about it. The most you did was kiss.

Kihyun's hand angles yours so when you cut another slice, it's slanted rather than straight down. "What's the point of that?" you ask curiously. You're sure you've seen it without noticing on a cooking show before. It was probably where Kihyun himself picked the knowledge up.

"It helps it cook more evenly," he answered, a smile evident in his voice. "And soak up more flavor."

You finish cutting it, slow at Kihyun's request because 'your safety is more important than this meal.'

"It's perfect!" he praises, squeezing you around the middle while pressing a kiss to your cheek. You relish in the feeling of being held by him, the feeling of him praising your work, the feeling of him loving you. "My babygirl is gonna be an expert chef someday."

Your smile falters. Did he love you? If he knew, would he still? He clearly didn't love you for your body, since your relationship consisted at most of kissing... but then you think about how people had treated you in the past, thought you were wrong or weird or lying. But Kihyun wasn't like that. Sure he wouldn't think those things about you, he would still love you like he had for the last year and- 

"Boy." It slipped out before you had a hope to keep it in.

Kihyun's embrace loosened the slightest bit. "What?"

Your heart was pounding but you needed to get this out in the open. "I'm your babyBOY," you responded, emphasis on the 'boy.'

Luckily you had set the knife down already or it would have slipped from your grasp as you unknowingly let your hands open. Your body was slowly numbing, starting with your fingertips. Why was his hold on you loosening? Why did you feel like he was moving further away? God, it's happening, the expected reaction-

"My babyboy is gonna be an expert chef someday," he repeated, that same praising tone as before. You hadn't realized until he rested his chin on your shoulder that his arms were tight around you again. 

"What?" you question. Did he just... that easy?

"My babyBOY is going to be an expert chef someday," he repeated, some amount of sass in his voice. "Unless you keep talking instead of getting to cooking." You turn your head to see his face. As expected, a stern brown was lifted as he waited.

You turn completely, your back to the counter. "Don't you... want to talk about it? Aren't you mad?"

"Of course I'm upset!" he chastised. There it was, that raised voice. But it was too familiar, the same face he always had when scolding or nagging. "Why would you let me go on calling you a girl this whole time?! You should have told me! I just want you to be comfortable and happy here! How can you when I'm treating you like something you aren't?" He huffed, fixing you with his trademark glare, then relaxed. He leaned into you, pulling you tightly against him. "I'm so sorry you spent all this time dealing with that." His voice was nothing but soft and loving against your hair as he brought one hand up to rub the back of your head.

"Kihyun," you murmur, eyes wide and beginning to water. What had you done to deserve such a person to love you and return that love to?

He hummed in your ear, waiting for you to speak again. You put your hands on his chest, pushing him away to stare into his eyes. Brown eyes that you'd seen everyday for so long now yet never grew tired of. And his lips that often moved in the shape of complaints but kissed you with as much love as one could possibly muster. Hah. Love. There wasn't any way to put into words how much you loved him. "I love you," you finally say. It will have to suffice.

He scoffed. "You say that like you just realized." You smile but before you can speak again, he asks, "So what is your real name then?"

You're taken aback because it's not something you'd ever thought of before. You'd spent so long avoiding it. "I... I don't know. Nobody's ever asked me that."

"Don't worry, Peach. You'll be my John Doe until we figure it out." We. Until WE figure it out. It was a small detail in phrasing, but it made all the difference.

"Peach is good." It was what you would tell people to call you when you didn't like the way your given name sounded.

"Okay, Peach. Do you have anything else you'd like to tell me before we finish this meal?"

You think for a moment, wondering if now is the time to bring such a thing up. "Well... I'm not actually asexual either..." you trail off. It needed to be said, but it didn't make it less embarrassing to bring up.

Much to your surprise, you watched as Kihyun's lips spread into a devious smirk and realized then that you were worried about the wrong secret all along.

**Author's Note:**

> Wellll I wrote this for a friend. I hope it's... not shit.


End file.
